The Irony of Growth
I’ve realized there’s a crazy thing about growth. And it’s that every step forward to become something new, is usually matched with a moment of grief for losing something that’s old.
Point Loma Nazarene, Women’s Basketball
The thing about growth is that it’s not just about the moving forward… it’s also about the letting go. The decision, from the heart (not the ego) that says… “I can no longer have or be this/them/that… since I’m going there… & becoming this.”
And usually that moment needs a pause.
It demands a moment. A moment of gratitude for the time before… grief for the loss moving forward… and a gathering of courage for the next step.
A few years ago I read the book “The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo— and it’s true— it was life-changing. I got rid of so. much.: shirts, shorts, shoes, pants, books, things— that no longer brought me joy. (That’s what she said: if it no longer brings you joy— it goes.) And it was so amazing.
But here’s what I found out: the most important part of the process of “tidying up” was not in getting rid of everything and having it gone… it was what Marie Kondo made us do with each and every piece before we decided it was time for it to go. And that was that everything we held up in front of us that did not bring us joy anymore, we had to thank. We had to say “thank you so much for the time we spent together and the joy you brought into my life for those times.” And then we’d have to also share that it no longer brought us joy… and say goodbye.
Yes we talked to our clothes. And it’s how I got the rockin’ closet I have now. (k, it’s just how I could finally get rid of all my 10U tournament shirts. Don’t act like you can’t relate..)
But we talked to our clothes & things before moving on because we had to acknowledge what they gave to us… and also own that they no longer served us.
And that was the most important part.
The pause.
Why?
Because growth starts on the inside. And most of the time more and new only comes into your life when you’ve allowed something else that was standing in its place before, to be stripped away.
We talked to our clothes cause we had to feel the grief… the loss… before we could move forward with peace. And just as importantly, we had to own that we were worthy of filling the space with something different. One by one, every piece.. worthy. Every layer. A pause.
You may think the process sounds silly— that it sounds silly to be talking to your clothes and other house-hold items… but listen, it worked. Better than you can realize. Because before I knew it, everything that was filling my space and weighing me down, was gone… and everything about my room was new. It was re-filled with things and pieces that made me happy. That gave me joy. Nothing about what belonged to me wasn’t something that I wholeheartedly chose… and got to really, truly, enjoy.
Marie called it The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up, but personally, I think she missed the mark with the title. I would’ve called it The Life Changing Magic Of Letting Go.
Oh the irony of choosing to grow. <3