Right Where You Are
Every month, God and I set a theme for the month. And for the next 30 days, I see every yes, every no, and every decision through the lens of that word. This month it’s “Run”… and I have no idea what he means by that.
But I spend my time trying. I’ve laced up my shoes and hit the pavement most every day in May— literally just because he said. There’s a really good chance he doesn’t even mean for me to literally start running, but I gotta start somewhere… and try something… right?
Last month’s word was “Love”. Last month was April and it was the month no one really remembers & we all blacked out during cause it was the first full month of the transition into this what-the-hell-is-going-on global pandemic. So much of what we love to do was gone in April. Yet at the same time… so much love remained.
It was simpler love. It was slower love. It was more connected love. It was the kind of love that lingered at the dinner table again. The kind that stopped rushing to the next thing to get done and just stayed… to be together. (Thats how my Dad put it.)
It’s cause everything was already right in front of us. Everyone was already there. And we had already finished what was most important to get done: Dinner. Together.
Last month’s word from God was “Love” and while I 100% blacked out… I do remember who I fought for. Who I created for. I remember why I wrote— and why it was so important for me to.
I also remember crying a lot. And I remember sleeping a lot. And I remember that that’s exactly where I was supposed to be.
Because I also remember God telling me that I was held. Right where I was.
When I first knew last month’s word was “Love”, I laced up my shoes and got to work. I wrote & I created & I encouraged. But looking back, I think the message he was trying to send was the one I felt when I was under my covers. The one when I was crying. The one where I got to just be where I was— and rest.
I was all laced up & ready to work and it turned out that the love he actually wanted me to know was the one that told me I was held. Right where I was.
It’s like he was telling me that dinner was served. And there was nowhere else to be…
That everyone was already there.