Acknowledging a Decade
I wrote a letter to the me I was the past 10 years that I had no intention to share... but I think it’s important to for 3 reasons:
Photo by Nicole Balsamo
1. I hope you see yourself in it. I hope it gives you words to speak over your own story. To be used as a template to fill in your own blanks + truths. Cause I really hope you’re proud of you, too.
2. God has a plan and design for your life... and it’s important we remember that our part of the work matters. That we freakin’ gotta meet him half way. We have to show up and let him know we’re here to play so we can be used. So he can write a story worth glorifying big fat LOVE + GRACE + FREEDOM + PURPOSE about.
3. So you can see the things that last forever. It’s not the game, the trips, or the accomplishments. It is, and will always be, who you were & how you grew in the midst of it all.
The beauty & magic of your journey will ALWAYS be found in the in-between moments (moments that photos can never speak). Happy New Decade stud.
To 2010-2020 Kayla:
“Holy crap you’re strong. Wow I look up to you. You work hard. I admire the way you know your worth and you just go after it. I love how you say “I’m going to be {*fill in the blank*}” and then you just do it— when no one else can see it/ believe it. I love how you got ran into the ground in Giantland and you kept standing up. Stronger, each time. I love how you were determined to not just get through it, but to become a leader. I love that you allowed an experience to shape you. People to push you. Challenge you (to your absolute core). And build you up. You were both led by your inner-self and the guidance and hard-ass coaching of others. You did extra work. You found a way when no one told you how… you just figured it out. You followed your gut and your heart and never, did you ever, back down. You let people love you during the hardest time of life… your Mom’s cancer. You dared to be seen. You played your role even though you were far. You left when what was more important trumped all else. You went home. That takes guts. To go home. To find home. To choose home. You kept your character through conflict. You chose love. You payed attention. Not one teammate slipped through the crack with you. You saw them all. Heard them all. “Played” next to them all. You saw their strengths and you saw their needs. Were you perfect? NO. But it’s all the very thing that has built you & set you in position to live your purpose, today. You felt. You hit rock bottom. You worked your ass off in the hardest season to come. You thought sport was hard? How about when it’s over. How about when it’s gone. Who were you then? The same person you trained all those years to be. It was a different game (that you had no idea how to play)… but you played. You figured it out. You navigated. You met God. You learned his voice. You found his people. You followed his lead from the Costa Rican ocean to Mission Beach. Holy crap did you listen. Holy crap did you do the work. Holy crap did you take on every gut and heart punch… and keep going. Holy crap was it messy. Thank you Mom + Dad + Sister + Brother + Grandma + Aunt Chrissy + the rest of my family. Holy crap was it magical. Thank you Ranchos + Giantland + Chico + Fresno + Visalia + San Diego. Look what you’ve done. Look who you’ve loved and let love you. I am so proud of you. I am so proud of you. I am so proud of you. I love you so much. Thank you for teaching me. May I honor you by continuing to be all that you have been. Full of courage. A lover, a grower, a player, a follower, a leader. <3”