Create A New Game.

How do you learn?

Do you learn when you DO something? Do you learn by reading? Do things click when you see a picture drawn or when you have someone in front of you coaching you through? Do you need new stimulus or do you need routine?

We all learn in different ways. And I can't stress enough the importance of seeking out environments & tools that meet YOUR needs. If you're an athlete who's used to learning new skills their entire life through sport- only to have that mental & physical stimulus stop abruptly when you turned in your jersey— go create a new game. Go find a new coach. Take the time to figure out what's missing.. and then make it happen. Please don't stop playing.

I need someone to talk at me and then coach me through as I physically do it. [I also need to know why the heck what I'm doing is relevant (I'm curious and enjoy understanding things deeplyyy)… so I need someone who will be able to answer my 25535 questions.]

It's not bad. It's just you. Figure out what you need, and find a way meet it. You're worth it, darn it. Just do me a favor:
Keep learning. Keep playing.