Follow The Leader

It may take a day, it may take weeks, it may take months… but it’s in there. And once you have even the smallest taste of it’s truth- I promise you’ll never want to go back.

Fresno State Volleyball

So much so that you’ll spend the rest of your life protecting it. Not from being hurt (cause you’ll realize that that is actually ok!)… but from ever being covered up again. You’ll spend the rest of your life making sure it never gets in the way of friendship again. Of love, again. Of that voice you’ve been given- that makes a difference- again. Of the realest and truest and highest and most passionate you, again.

You’ll learn that it’s not just the best option to lead you…. but it’s your only option. 
That it’s the only one that simultaneously saves you and helps others.

Let me back up a little…

Your mind is your friend. But if you let it lead the way, you won’t get very far.

I know. That sounds harsh— and I promise it’s not personal. I am positive you have a beautiful mind with amazing thoughts and ideas and reasonings! But I am here to tell you, if you let it lead… it will get a big head & try to take over (see what I did there).. and you willll end up realizing it’s ideas aren’t as great as you think (human things are always a bit limited).

So I’m here to tell you that your mind is your friend— but the reality is.. left alone, it’s not a great leader.

So what is?

Now before I say it, I admit that this other option is dangerous.
It’s the vulnerable option. It may make you different… than the majority or what’s popular. It may ask you to step into unknown territories— places you haven’t been before (and what’s safe about not having a map?). It asks you to let people help you (and nothing kills that shiny mental ego more than down-and-dirty, connected, humility). And it’s dangerous because it always asks you to acknowledge the truth, feel the truth, and live differently once you realize the truth— and change is not easy.

But, I have to tell you about it for one real important reason:
It’s also the option where God lives in you.

Which means it’s the option that connects you to his comfort, his strength, and his visions.
It’s the option that gives you peace.
The one that connects you to others… in a real and fulfilling way.
It helps you discern your direction in life. The one that’s made for you.
Be there for others when they need you. And be there for yourself when you need you.
Speak words that others need to hear. And words that you need to express.
And it’s the very thing that allows you to feel love and connection and happiness to it’s fullest… as well as pain and sadness— which allows you to experience one of life’s biggest gifts: to heal from whatever you’ve been through.

So, your mind is your friend, yes. But if you let it lead the way, you won’t get very far. Which is why you have to listen to your heart.

Contrary to what social media portrays the “best” lives as… contrary to beauty… and contrary achievement… there is only one thing that will ever give you what you’re born for. What you’re truly longing for. What you want. And what you need (even if you don’t know it, yet).

And yes, it’s also the thing that hurts the most. And takes the longest to recover from when it’s taken a hit.
I know, damn it.

I didn’t always know how to use my heart to it’s full capacity, but I know God knew I was willing. And open. And so he always sent me experiences, and coaches, and leaders who could help me get there. He used them to tell me to “follow it” and he used them to teach me how (not. an easy. game!).

I hate that our hearts are so vulnerable. I hate that they have the power to hurt the way they can. But the reality is, your heart is the only place to access love. It’s the only place to access empathy. It’s the only place to feel your pain so you can HEAL. And it’s the only place you can experience Joy.

So it seems to me that there’s really no choice.
We either accept the fullness of it— the happy *and the pain, the loneliness *and the connection, the void *and the empowerment…
Or we end up missing it. 
Life.

The really cool & fulfilling kind.

But even worse? It misses YOU.
It misses your smile, your hug, your point of view, your unique expression, your ideas, your passion, your voice, your support….. it misses the fingerprint of a human experience that only you can give away.

I know it’s dangerous and I hate that our hearts are so vulnerable. That they have the power to hurt the way they can. But truthfully, it’s only really dangerous to fitting in instead of walking in your truth, being liked instead of loved, staying comfortable, stuck in cycles that don’t serve you, stunting your growth, or staying committed to a life without meaning or true fulfillment. 
Cause it will destroy all of that.

It may take a day, it may take weeks, it may take months… but once you have even the smallest taste of it’s truth & possibilities.. I promise you’ll never go back. So much so that you’ll spend the rest of your life protecting it. Not from being hurt (cause you’ll realize that that is actually ok!)… but from ever being covered up again. You’ll spend the rest of your life making sure it never gets in the way of friendship again. Of love, again. Of that voice you’ve been given- that makes a difference- again. Of the realest and truest and highest and most passionate you, again.

You’ll learn that it’s the only option that simultaneously saves you and helps others.

That it’s not just the best option to lead you…. but it’s your only option. 

So let it- ok? Lead…

Cause it’s here to.